Favorite Bob Pollard Stage Banter

[gelgis olowana]

Originally posted by Jason Someone should make a bootleg of the best of Bob's stage banter. Having Fun with Bob Pollard On Stage
some favorites off the top of my head:
---Guided By Voices is the best band name. It's symmetrical. Guided - seven letters. By - two letters. Voices - seven letters.
---Led Zeppelin would have been better if I had been their lead singer. Robert Plant sucks.
---Out of all our songs that suck, this is my favorite one (while introducing Teenage FBI)
---Mickey Dolenz is the best American rock singer ever.
---I know you guys love the classic lineup. Well, FUCK the classic lineup.

[gee beer vee]

In Buffalo two week ago he said something about (forgive the hazy memory) "Having more hits than the Beatles" but that was topped by (forgive the hazy memory) "We have more hits than the Goo Goo Dolls"

Goo Goo Dolls are from Buffalo making this funny indeed.

[Radamez]

From that show in Vancouver (that was broadcast on the radio) when he's quizzing the kids on the four P's. They get Punk, but they can't seem to get any farther, then somebody yells out 'Post-punk', and Bob, in Christ-like tolerance, accepts that as a fifth P.

[cungar]

"Here's a song off Bee Thousand. D'you know if you hold your tongue and say 'Pete Townshend' it sounds like Bee Thousand? Here try it..."

[curly]

Once he mentioned Mother Love Bone for some reason then pondered, "What's a mother love bone, anyways? My dad's dick?"

[gee beer vee]

That Townshend one is tops.

[cle-rat]

"One of these days you're gonna wanna be a rock star, and it's gonna be TOO LATE!" (Brighton, '95)

[cle-rat]

"My mom told me I was drinking too much. I told her, 'Fuck you, mom. I love you....but fuck you.'" (Chcago, '01)

[Jason]

I read this on another board last summer. At a GbV show just before Universal Truths came out, when the band was about to go into one of the songs from it, Bob intro'd it with "This song is from our new album, Our Little Cube Still Rocks!"

I still think that's funny. I can't remember anything from the shows I've seen.

[Ladt]

I liked his rants about TVT not releasing ID in the UK "TVT hates you!" Also there's "I saw Blink 182 on MTV and it made me cry".
Also, when I was just getting into GBV< and heard the mp3 of Peephole, I thought bob said "this is a song by pete townsend" rather than this is a song from Bee Thousand.

[largeheartedboy]

Before playing "Baba O'Riley": "And fuck all you motherfuckers who don't like us playing covers, fuck you."

[marqueemoon]

at my show in warsaw, brooklyn bob was talking about the move back to matador records. the audience applauded. then he made some compliment about TVT which was followed by boo's. bob was like "oh, stop..after a couple of albums with matador they're going to be known as the TVT years"

[Scott Frost]

seeing this reminded me of a show a few years ago when Bob spent about 10 minutes between songs ripping Bob Mould - "Bob Mould has never written a good song in his life"

guess Bob & Bob can talk about it in person next month in Chicago!

Friday August 15
Chicago, IL - Goose Island Fest
Southport & Armitage (2011 N. Southport)
Line-Up:
Sonic Youth -
Guided By Voices
Bob Mould

[cungar]

Well that's something I would have to disagree with Bob about. Bob Mould has written some great songs with Husker Du, solo and with Sugar. His current electronica phase is complete utter shite however.

[Scott Frost]

you know Bob ... he barked out that Grant Hart wrote all the good ones

[Salman]

I got this thing off of SoulSeek where Bob tells the crowd Sebadoh sucks and you can't be a GBV fan if you like Sebadoh or JSBX because they're competetion.

[Scott Frost]

just remembered another one.

when GBV played Philly last year, Sonic Youth was playing across town at the same time

All night that was the theme - GBV vs. Sonic Youth. At one point, Bob said something along the lines of: "We will play 2 1/2 or three hours tonight. Sonic Youth will play 2 1/2 or three hours tonight. The thing is, during that set, we'll play 60 to 70 songs. Sonic Youth will play 8."

[winterwooskie]

Originally posted by Scott Frost
just remembered another one.

when GBV played Philly last year, Sonic Youth was playing across town at the same time

All night that was the theme - GBV vs. Sonic Youth. At one point, Bob said something along the lines of: "We will play 2 1/2 or three hours tonight. Sonic Youth will play 2 1/2 or three hours tonight. The thing is, during that set, we'll play 60 to 70 songs. Sonic Youth will play 8."

that is the funniest one so far. i like the way bob has a little arrogance about gbv.

[bitterfruit]

Originally posted by cungar
"Here's a song off Bee Thousand. D'you know if you hold your tongue and say 'Pete Townshend' it sounds like Bee Thousand? Here try it..."

How many of you read this post and actually did this? I did.

[winterwooskie]

sounds like pee thousand when i do it. but then i'm canadian.

[cle-rat]

"This next one's called I'm Alone...I'm Stinking...I'm on the Conan O'Brien Show... and I'm Unafraid........Who gives a fuck?" (all spoken slowly and deliberately) from the Homosexual Flypaper gig in NYC

[portablefire]

"We could put out an album every fucking day ... if we had the money ... the bread."

[gee beer vee]

When they played London, ON in 2001 Bob went "The last time we played London was London England! Ho! Ho! bad joke!"

[DrewK79]

Two of my faves are, and I'm piecing them together from hazy moments so I apologize for any errors:

--At a show in Seattle: "Hello, we're Guided by Voices. We're not big Hendrix fans, but boy we sure do love that Mudhoney."

--Anaheim House of Blues, 2002: "We're sick of all these current bands, like Alien Ant Farm *cheers in agreement*, Papa Roach *cheers in agreement*...and the Supremes *silence*."

[nmalis]

Said by Bob in LA at The House of Blues (2001), several beers into the show:

"We're the greatest indie rock band of all time. We're way better than Pavement. You know we are."

[captain]

Originally posted by portablefire
"We could put out an album every fucking day ... if we had the money ... the bread."

excellent pfire! That's one of my favorites..

I also like it when he's talking about Polvo in (I think) NC and he screams "YOU CANNOT BEAT US IN BASKETBALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Ladt]

Originally posted by nmalis
Said by Bob in LA at The House of Blues (2001), several beers into the show:

"We're the greatest indie rock band of all time. We're way better than Pavement. You know we are."
Speaking of which the one record I'd like to see Bob re-do the vocals for Phantom Tollbooth style is Pavement's Wowee Zowee or Brighten The Corners, cos lets' face it- bob's a better vocalist than SM. (Or Spiral for that matter).

[100%dangus]

dtc era show after playing a rousing version of strumpet eye...

"Strumpet fucking eye, man. Strumpet...fucking...eye. Fuck yeah."

[bitterfruit]

Anybody heard "Relaxation Of The Asshole?" A google search returns a plethora of colorful information.

[cle-rat]

all you need to know: http://www.robertpollard.net/